A reminder of what white racism is like

Because the onus over the past half century has been on white racism and on the past, in my own personal experience, overt hostility, disdain, or anger from whites--as opposed to black people, who have little or no external pressure to behave civilly and respectfully towards people of other races--is rare.

But when it does happen, it is a shock.  And it is hurtful.

I was in Safeway the other day at the customer service counter, as the regular cashier lines were long, behind a middle-aged Caucasian woman who suddenly discovered she had lost her eyeglasses.  She went on yammering to the customer representative when another customer came up to her and told her that he had seen her leave her eyeglasses in the store in Aisle X, etc.

She exclaimed astonishment and went over to check.  Meanwhile, the rep had already bagged her groceries and, I thought, had taken her credit card (I hadn't been paying attention, thinking about other things).

So I went up to the counter and placed my bottle of Woolite there.   The rep immediately said that the woman had not finished.  But before I could say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought she was," the woman came rushing over and pushed me aside, saying in a loud, nasty voice, "EXCUSE ME, I'M NOT DONE YET."

And then with a disdainful facial gesture and a flick of her right hand, she pushed aside the bottle of Woolite and promptly paid.

In the past I would have kept silent and fumed for days, but this time I mustered up the gumption to at least blurt out, "Thank you for your rudeness."

Instead of, as I feared, arguing with me, she paid and left. Apparently she had not expected resistance from someone of my complexion and appearance.    (I don't think she would have dared to treat an African-American this way as she would have undoubtedly been clobbered, figuratively, for such disrespect).

I was still angry and upset after the incident but much less so than if I had not tried to speak up for myself.

Luckily, this sort of thing happens only every once in a blue moon--as in months or even years.

It still hurts.*


* The last time something like this happened was about five years at the Cat Clinic of Seattle, where out of the blue an extremely nasty, contemptuous Caucasian woman (the office manager) gave me the back of her hand.  After having paid several thousands of dollars to this business, I was speechless.   I vowed to speak up the next time, and so I did at the Safeway last week.

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